Rachael.
i was looking at all those souls.
all those souls that id never get a chance to enjoy.
all those souls that id never get a chance to meet.
and i could see everyone,
every soul, every sparkling color,
that was seeping from each pore in them.
and i could feel the love and the sanity,
hitting against my face like the warm breeze most everyone hates.
but it felt so good.
and i could taste the laughter,
each funny thing they said.
my tongue began to tickle.
and i wanted to be apart of them.
it felt so good.
I was just watching from an open
window.
inside the room no longer lived in.
inside the room i spend all my time just thinking.
inside the room my heart is folding in.
it wasnt you who held me back,
your leave was to help me grow.
like height was the need of mine.
you always took my hand,
you always led me elsewhere.
you always showed me new ways.
and the fun we had.
adventuring into the depths of an older life.
but now your gone.
and as pathetic as i get.
i sit seemingly waiting.
waiting for choices you gave me.
adventures we found.
im waiting for myself to comeback.
most days i wouldnt care.
but on this one i do.
most days id leave the house.
but on this one i stay.
most days id smile about.
but on this one ive only smiled once,
at the memory we had togther sitting in this same spot.
laughing at stupid shit.
saying how we ourselves would get shot.
we could say what was on our minds.
and no one would care.
they'd know who we were.
best friends, just two sisters.
nothing more.
but your gone.
the imbalance in my life just fell to the ground.
gravity holding me too tight.
without your extra weight around.
haha,
the joke
we made about being fat.
the insults id lay on you,
and all your sly comebacks.
we were genious, and it felt so perfect.
in control and out of this world.
but your gone.
and the adrenaline rush died hours ago.
we sit we sat
but now its just me facing the open window.
and its just me feeling the vibes ive let slip past me.
its just me facing my mistakes.